How to not burn saucepans: Chapter 1.1 - Sleep

Sleep

One of my biggest challenges is the infamous ADHD “second wind.” In the evening, my brain suddenly lights up with new ideas—and it’s hard to resist diving in immediately. This is pretty common in ADHDers: a 2019 research study found that 73-78% of ADHDers have sleep disturbances including delayed sleep phase disorder. 

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In my teens and early twenties, I followed the flow and got sucked into hours of hyperfocused programming in the evening, crawling into bed at 1am. I was an utter wreck in the morning and often when I’d look back at the code I’d written in the evening, it was woeful and needed to be re-done. Classic example of negative productivity: I would’ve been far better writing down the challenge I was facing and letting my unconscious brain stew on it while I slept. 

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It was obvious I needed to sleep earlier, but following through was another story. Every morning I’d swear I’d change… and every night I’d forget, lured back to my screen for “just a few more minutes” of unnecessary work.

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Falling asleep wasn’t the issue—exhaustion took care of that. Getting into bed was. I tried accountability partners (calling each other at 9pm), a Pavlok wristband which would give me an electric shock if I was still on my computer after 9pm, polyphasic sleep, blocking out my calendar, planning sleep with my wife…none of it helped consistently. 

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My sleep struggles

There were a few key reasons I found it so hard to get to bed on time:
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1. Time blindness (hyperbolic discounting): I consistently underestimated how long basic tasks would take. I’d assume I could wash the dishes, shower, brush my teeth, and prep for the next day in 10 minutes—even though I’d only ever pulled that off once. Realistically, it takes closer to an hour. But my brain would keep telling me, “You’ve got time.”
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2. Work stress: I was handling technical support for customers in the US, Europe and Australia (i.e. basically 24-7). Although I had colleagues to help, I didn’t fully trust them (they were new and needed guidance) and would keep checking late at night and early in the morning.
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3. Tech addiction/willpower deficiency: Willpower alone isn’t enough for me to resist tech distractions. If I saw work emails come through, I’d get sucked back in. And it wasn’t just email—YouTube, news sites, games—anything with a dopamine hit could derail my wind-down and delay sleep.
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4. Events in the evenings: I’d often go to meetups and get home after 9pm, making it harder to stick to any kind of routine.

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Since 2022, my bedtime routine has improved a lot. The biggest game-changer? Strict tech blocks after 7:30pm. I’d tried this before, but always found workarounds. Now, I’ve locked it down: I use Focus Bear (an app I built to combat burnout and distractions) on both my phone and computer. Only my wife has the password. If there's a real emergency—say, a 3am server meltdown—she’ll unlock it. But 99% of the time, I’m offline and off dopamine-inducing tech by 7:30.

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Getting off tech earlier in the evening means that I’ve actually got time for a comprehensive evening routine. Alongside the basics—making dinner, cleaning up, showering, brushing my teeth—I’ve found that a few extra rituals make a big difference in how relaxed I feel before bed.

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My wind down routine

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1. Plan tomorrow: I jot down my schedule and to-do list for the next day in a notepad. Getting it out of my head and onto paper helps me mentally let go—it’s like my brain says, “Alright, this can wait until tomorrow.” Paper works better for me than digital tools: the limited space forces me to be realistic, and the friction of having to rewrite things keeps me from overcommitting.

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2. Keys and wallet back in the dropzone: I’ve had too many chaotic mornings spent hunting for my keys. Putting them in the same spot each night is a small act of kindness for my tired future self.

3. Reviewing my day: I spend 10 minutes journaling—what went well, what could be improved, what I’m grateful for, and anything that’s bothering me. Before I started this (nearly 10 years ago!), I’d often lie awake ruminating for hours. Externalising those thoughts helps short-circuit that spiral.

4. Checking in with my accountability coach: I work with an accountability coach and do an evening check-in with him via the Goals Won app.

5. Evening yoga: I do ten minutes of yoga to relax my body. I used to follow along to Youtube videos but have now developed my own practice with the help of a yoga teacher.

6. Read a paper book: Once in bed, I read for up to 15 minutes (or just 2 if I’m running late). I steer clear of thrillers—dull non-fiction is perfect if I’m struggling to sleep.

7. Share gratitudes with my wife: when we’re both ready to sleep, we’ll cuddle for a bit and share our moments of joy from the day and what we’re grateful for. It provides a nice dose of oxytocin to ease me into sleep.

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Setting up the bedroom for sleep

Alongside a consistent evening routine, I’ve made a few environmental tweaks to boost my sleep quality—especially around air quality. I have dust mite allergies, and if I’m not careful, I can “sleep” for nine hours and still wake up feeling wrecked.

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Here’s what helps:
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• Air purifier: I have an air purifier in the bedroom which helps improve the indoor air quality.
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• Air flow: we keep a window open in the bedroom because if there’s insufficient airflow in the bedroom, CO₂ levels build up over the course of the evening - not great for sleep quality. 
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• Temperature: we don’t use space heaters in the bedroom (or the house as a whole) to keep the temperature cool. Research shows that the hotter the bedroom, the worse you sleep.
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• Bedding: I have dust mite covers on my mattress and pillow cases.
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• Light: I cover up sources of light (e.g. the air purifier display) to have the room as dark as possible and have installed block out curtains.
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• Noise: there’s a tradeoff between airflow and noise reduction. We live on a quiet street so keep the window partly open most nights.
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• EMFs: we charge our phones outside the bedroom. There is some evidence (albeit from small sample sizes) that having EMF emitters (real/fake baby monitors in the study) close to your bed negatively impacts sleep quality. As well as potentially protecting my brain, this also means that I actually get up when my alarm goes off as it’s not within grasping distance! 

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Next: Chapter 1.2 – Nutrition